NBA - No Basketball Action

I make a point of not stressing about things I have no control over, and when the NBA owners and players settle their dispute and start playing again is one such issue. There was an AP article which covered most of the bases - excuse the mixed sports metaphor - but in my opinion missed one important section of the community who will also be suffering collateral damage with the lockout. The full, original, article is here, but I have added a new section, a massive improvement in my humble opinion.

In the grounds of his palatial stately home in the English countryside, I spoke to world renowned NBA trader Cassini about the lack of basketball.

"It's rough," Cassini said, glancing toward his monitor. "It's painful when it's out of my control."

Last week, the NBA cancelled its pre-season, and on Monday, Commissioner David Stern wiped out the first two weeks of the regular season as his millionaire players and even wealthier owners failed to agree on how to split revenue and cap salaries.

Sure, players are temporarily out of work and will have to find ways to maintain their skills. But Kobe Bryant has the luxury of potentially signing with an Italian team to do that, earning a big salary until the labor unrest settles.

Others aren't as fortunate. The loss of one game, let alone 10 or maybe all 82, will have a devastating impact on workers with jobs dependent on pro basketball's six-month-plus season. A few teams have already trimmed their staffs and more layoffs could be forthcoming if the discussions drag on. Then there are those who don't work directly for an NBA team but who still depend on the excitement the league brings to town.

Ushers, security personnel, parking lot attendants, concession workers, restaurant employees and sports traders all stand to have their hours cut or join the country's 14 million unemployed.

"I do feel that the players and owners are being incredibly selfish" said Cassini, as he lay by the pool sipping on a glass of the finest champagne and nibbling on black caviar and truffles.

"Basketball is my top sport for trading" he added, before revealing that his hope for a place in the Sunday Times Rich List 2012 was now in some doubt. Back in 2004, Latrell Sprewell famously turned down a 3 year, $21 million contract extension saying that he "had a family to feed", and Cassini can certainly identify.

"Already, I have been forced to make cuts. My full-time household staff is down to just Mrs. Cassini, and we have had to cut out the daily Duck Foie Gras lobes that we loved so much. The maid, pool boy and chauffeur have all had their hours cut, and this really is a tough time." When it is suggested that other needed cuts might be the hedges and grass, Cassini admits the gardener is on "gardening leave".

When pressed as to how much the stoppage will actually cost him, Cassini is coy. "It's so vulgar talking about money, but let's just say that the XX Draw selections had better keep winning, or it'll be Margate next summer, not Necker Island."